HTP 1.11 Remote Meeting (8 February 2016)

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Our Zoom meeting is on 8 February 2016, at 5PM EST

Zoom Meeting ID: 738-644-4911

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Our Work

1. Please read lectures three times:

  • #73, Compulsion to Recreate and Overcome Childhood Hurts.
  • #140, Conflict of Positive versus Negative Oriented Pleasure as the Origin of Pain.
  • #101, The Defense.

2. Write an outline for each lecture

3. Exchange Sessions: 

You will work with steps 1 – 5. I want you to skip step 6. Then work with 7 – 9. We will add steps 6 and 10 after the in person eight day class.

4. Write up each session

Deliverables Due

by February 6

Detail Header

Informational Text.

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The circle of Helping:

Pol and Erna exchange Sessions

Midori and Lisa exchange Sessions with Craig observing

I found the last class valuable in coming into the present moment with each other while bonding with the deeper needs of the class.  I want to share with all of you something that happened right before the class.  I had created notes for the steps that I was going to teach you before I left for CA after  a supervision session I had with Moira Shaw. Right before the class I could not find these notes anywhere.  I really looked.  That was why I was late.  I had my notes for the two lectures I had assigned you but not for the 5 steps that I wanted to go over with you.  It reached a point where I had to let it go and feel the frustration of not being prepared.  In the initial atunement I had clear guidance to share that I was not prepared in the way I had hoped to be.  Lisa mentioned to me that I would probably find the notes right after the class…of which I did.  So on some level I feel that there needed to be a space left open for something else to happen in the class that I could not have predicted.  I am very grateful that each of you shared in the way that you did…and I am especially grateful to you Midori for allowing us to feel your pain with you and to be with your process.  I know that I speak for all of us when I say that we will be thinking of you and sending prayers your way for your thesis presentation.  We love you and hold you in our hearts.

Now I want to give you the homework for the next on-line class for February 5th.  I have almost finished the homework for the in-person 8 days and I will send that to you tomorrow.

Please read lectures:  #73, Compulsion to Recreate and Overcome Childhood Hurts.  #140, Conflict of Positive versus Negative Oriented Pleasure as the Origin of Pain.  #101, The Defense.

To the best of your ability read these lectures at least twice and preferably three times.  Then write an outline for each lecture.  These are some of the essential lectures for a helper to work with and to teach so it is good to have an outline of them your files.

Erna and Pól will exchange sessions and write them up.  Lisa and Midori will exchange sessions with Craig observing and write them up.  Craig, I would also like you to write up your observations for each session.  So it may help you to write some notes while you are observing.

You will work with steps 1 – 5.  I want you to skip step 6.  Then work with 7 – 9.  We will add steps 6 and 10 after the in person eight day class.

I hope this homework is clear.  I look forward to our next class.

Much love to you all,

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Handouts and Resources

Pol’s Notes

▾ Working with the steps

• practicing the form, you learn the spaciousness of the form

• so you have confidence to see how things might unfold

• All the steps are about moving out of Dualistic toward Unified consciousness.

• The Misconception is the ROOT of the dualistic thinking in the problem area.

• from the New Age Marriage: this is the process of spiritualizing matter and materializing spirit


▾ 1. Beautiful Problem

• The jewel for growth – the opportunity to wake up!

• It’s your HS saying “look at this work on this

▾ 2. Either/or LIFE/DEATH connection

• Where I’m right and you’re wrong because wrong feels like death

• we built a case because (unconscious) if we give into that other person, we’ll die

• – step into feeling the extreme duality underneath the problem.

• The dualistic perspective of the conflict

▾ 3. Experience the ER

• Nobody’s ever all right or all wrong

• The goal here is to accept that.

• So we look at the difference between a feeling and an Emotional Reaction

• to be able to ask “what is the deeper truth of the matter” is the key to recognizing there is a deeper truth in the other.

• ER is very narrow


• Name the problem, seeing it as an opportunity for growth, you’re identifying the details

• Guide: observe our process, be with it and name it

• Name the wrong conclusion about life that is bringing you unhappiness and confusion

▾ 5. Forcing Current

• identify the place where you’re trying to force your way to be right

• a need to be happy, a need to be loved, get the thing you want in life

▾ The methods:

• Aggression (will)

• Submission (emotion)

• Withdrawal (intellect)

• These are an impulse, automatic reflex

• So we’re learning to identify something that seems to be beyond our control

▾ 6. IMAGE


• the earliest defense

• creates conflict between conscious and unconscious desires

• very hard to face – that we’d attract negative pleasure in our lives

• in trauma in childhood, a child cannot survive the suffering so they figure out how to attach (negative) pleasure to the trauma including sexuality

• Working with Shame and Pride

• Move into the Shame as a gateway to healing

▾ try to come into a place of Soft Pain around this guilt and suffering

• Maybe make a list of what positive pleasure in this area would be like

• Your conscious intent is crossed by the negative pleasure principle and it creates stuckness/tension

• The Goal: to dissolve the negative pleasure principle and attach to real pleasure

• You have to build your capacity for positive pleasure and abundance

• abundance creates abundance

• deprivation and poverty create deprivation and poverty

▾ 8. Connect your DEFENSES against pain in the present and the RECREATION OF YOUR CHILDHOOD HURTS

▾ What are the difficult patterns in your life?

• In this moment, what are you conflicts?

• Does the feeling you have today remind you of your childhood?

• – whatever conflicts you are having today, are the same conflicts from your childhood one and the same feeling

• – usually it’s a feeling and an Emotional Reaction

• Name the Childhood Hurt

• Realize where you are not willing to feel the pain of the childhood hurt

• Support them to feel that pain

• The defense against feeling this pain creates hard pain, which helps create the pattern as the real self tries to resolve that hurt and unconsciously the Child Consciousness is trying to defeat that circumstance

• If you feel like your partner would get you, all your wounds would heal (they would heal you), then you’re attracting the same level and quality of immaturity that your parents had – which doesn’t know how to negotiate and heal this place, which is just going to recreate this situation all over again

• This is a huge loss. They need to start feeling the loss of their childhood.

• They’re going to heal by feeling the pain of the childhood loss

▾ then learning about what it would feel like if it did exist in their life

• opening up to this brings more pain

▾ Help the worker feel self-acknowledged, have the capacity to hold themselves

• if you fight against this, you stay stuck there and don’t heal.

▾ 9. Feel the Similarity of the hurt and your unmet need

• Connect the feeling of the current hurt and connect it to the hurt of the childhood

• You’re recreated the same feeling situation as the thing that created your childhood hurt

• You’ve attracted someone on the low energy level of the often parent, but you’re expecting them to mature or expecting to mature them to meet your needs and heal you

• Instead, look inside yourself to find the connection between your current need and your childhood need, and get support for feeling the loss of those unmet needs in your childhood

• There’s pain underneath these unmet needs

• We need to educate ourselves as to who is a mature person who can help you meet these needs as an adult

• You have to really want to know about emotional maturity – it’s rare here

PólHTP 1.11 Remote Meeting (8 February 2016)

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